God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
