She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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