Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
