There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
