come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
