I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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