all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
