At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize