I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
