Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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