youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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