I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
