he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
