i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
