Say something about gay babies.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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