somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
