is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
