sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
