i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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