why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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