I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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