the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
