i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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