no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
