I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
