Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
