He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
