I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
