I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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