anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize