I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
