apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
