I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
