Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
