Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize