Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
