I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
