his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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