The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
