No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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