I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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