he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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