i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize