You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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