watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
