Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Pants are for mortals
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
