based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
