Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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