She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
