Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
