go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
