do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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