bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
