she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
