Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
