I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
