weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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