Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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