So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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