it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
