My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
